The Simple Tip From My Midwife That Made This My Easiest Birth

Do you think it’s actually possible to stay fully relaxed through labor and childbirth—all the way until the very end?

I didn’t think so either.
At least, not until I gave birth to my fourth and final baby.

Hi, I’m Krista. At Moms Simply Thriving, I’m all about helping busy moms live with greater ease and less effort. Today, I want to share the story of my fourth and final childbirth experience. My other births were a bit more “exciting”… but this one? This was the one I finally understood something different.

The Wall at the End of the Tunnel

I used the hypnobirthing method for all four of my children. I didn’t use any medication, and for the most part, it went really well. The breathing and visualization helped me ride the waves of contractions… until I hit the wall.

You know the wall.
It’s that intense phase called transition, right before you start pushing.

During my first three births, I handled most of labor well using the tools I had. But that last part was always the most intense—and I never felt like I could stay as relaxed as I wanted to be. It became more about enduring the pain than flowing through it.

The Stirrup Struggle

So for my fourth and final baby, I wanted things to be different.

I was determined to see if I could stay in that relaxed, grounded state all the way through transition. But to do that, something had to change—specifically, my positioning.

In my previous births, I had tried everything: kneeling, having my husband and nurse hold my legs, using the stirrups… but nothing allowed me to fully let go.

And honestly—it’s hard to fully release tension when people are holding your legs up.

So I knew I needed something different if I wanted a different experience.

The Life-Changing Tip from My Midwife

I asked my midwife about it, and she suggested something so simple it almost surprised me:

“Try lying on your side.”

She had me rotate so my legs were bent and resting naturally on the bed. No one holding them. No effort required.

And wow… that one small shift changed everything.

Because my body was fully supported, I could finally release all the tension—especially in my legs. I wasn’t bracing anymore. I wasn’t holding anything up.

For the first time, I could truly breathe through transition.

I felt calm.
Clear.
In control.

All the way until my son was born.

And it felt… amazing.

Not because it wasn’t intense—but because I wasn’t fighting it.

Pain is so much easier when you’re not resisting it.

Why This Matters for Motherhood

I share this because I’ve lived it:

It is possible to move through even the most intense moments from a calm, grounded place.

That experience didn’t just change my birth—it changed how I see motherhood.

It taught me that pain isn’t there to hurt us… it’s there to move us forward. To stretch us. To help us birth something new.

And while it may not feel comfortable, something shifts when we stop resisting it.

Think about a car accident. The person who braces for impact often experiences more whiplash. The one who is relaxed—even unknowingly—often walks away with less injury, simply because their body didn’t fight the force.

Motherhood is full of these moments:

The emotional weight of a hard season.
The physical exhaustion of the toddler years.
The stretching that comes when you’re called into something uncomfortable.

So often, what makes these moments harder is our resistance.

We clench.
We brace.
We just want it to be over.

But what if you didn’t?

What if you just… laid on your side?

What if you stopped using all your “muscles” to control the situation—and instead allowed yourself to be supported within it?

When you release the resistance, you may find the experience isn’t nearly as overwhelming as you expected.

Run Toward the Storm

I’m not inviting you to have an unmedicated birth if that’s not your path.

But I am inviting you to consider something deeper:

What if, instead of constantly trying to escape the hard things, you leaned into them?

There’s a powerful lesson we can learn from buffalo and cows.

When a storm rolls across the plains, cows instinctively run away from it—trying to escape. But because they’re moving in the same direction as the storm, they end up staying in it longer… enduring more of it.

Buffalo do the opposite.

They turn and run into the storm.

It sounds counterintuitive, but by moving directly through it, they actually shorten the time spent in the storm.

Less struggle.
Less exposure.
Less suffering.

And I think about that often in motherhood.

Because our instinct is usually to run—to avoid, fix, control, or rush through the hard parts.

But what if the way through… is actually straight through?

What if the very thing you’re resisting holds the growth, clarity, or breakthrough you’ve been needing?

What if, instead of bracing, you softened?

Instead of fleeing, you trusted?

Instead of tightening, you allowed?

When you choose to face your storms this way, something shifts.

They don’t feel as big.
They don’t last as long.
And you may even find yourself steady… clear… and grounded right in the middle of them.

Remember this story the next time you find yourself bracing for impact.

Consider softening and surrendering to the inevitable and see what happens.

May you have more peace as you are willing to walk your path today.

Feel free to share this with another mother who might need that same reminder.

You are enough. And your inner voice already knows the way—trust it.
And have an Effortless Day!